Redefining Beauty

2017 has brought a whirlwind of change in my life.  I shaved my head, graduated high school, lived with family friends over the summer while my parents and brother moved to Brasil, and then I moved out of the country four months later to join them once again. That sums it all up in a nutshell. Not to mention the moments in between, where I felt stretched beyond my control; a scary place to be for someone who likes being in control. I had to trust the process. And in doing so, I found that enduring the change changed me. My perspective on life completely transformed. And I'm grateful. I struggled, yes. Was it painful? Yes. But what I learned from these experiences was, and is, invaluable.

I've been challenged to rethink how I once viewed beauty, home, and love. This post marks the first of a blog series I'm weaving together to share my thoughts on these topics. I hope each one also challenges you to see things as they are, rather than what they are told to be.

These words have been in my heart for a long time; words I’ve been wanting to share.

Here’s to taking that first step.

“If I don’t believe I’m beautiful, I don’t feel good about myself."

This is me.

The girl who may look like she has it all together, but beneath a bold and confident demeanour lies a flawed being who wrestles with her own daily dose of insecurity. Particularly, the uncertainty in believing I am beautiful. It's uncomfortable for me to admit, but it needs to be said. Although hiding my imperfections does appear to be the safer route, unmasking them brings incredible freedom. And I wish for you to experience that freedom too.

Losing my hair is what brought me to terms with the struggle in doubting my beauty. Last December, exactly a year and three days ago - I walked into SalonAmour and told the hairstylist (her name is Lindsey, and she's great) "Shave everything off." She may have been more shocked with my calm nature than the prospect of shaving a woman's head. I knew what I had set out to do. Going bald was something I thoughtfully considered for quite a while, and now was the time.

Though I didn't expect such emotion to come from cutting off my hair. At first, it was exciting. I had anticipated being bald for months! It was such a unique experience. But after the excitement and anticipation wore off, I fell into a rut. I finally grasped the fact that my hair would take years to grow back to its long length. And that bummed me out.  More importantly, I became aware of how I didn't measure up to beauty’s "standards.”

Let me unpack that thought.

We live in a culture that defines beauty by standards. I've found the media heavily influences those standards. Media indicates to our society not only what is normal, but what is beautiful. We are bombarded by media's messages on a day-to-day basis, and the common theme seems to state, "You aren't good enough. So, buy this." In efforts to persuade us into becoming the ideal consumers, media derails the fact that we are already beautiful by convincing us otherwise. It's the worst. If we feel at any moment that our physicality doesn't match with what we see, we can easily fall into that trap. I'm quite passionate about this. I think it's because I have experienced it firsthand.

Hair does seem to be the essence of female beauty. As a woman without hair, or long hair for that matter, I felt less attractive and more...drab. It has truly been a mental game, whether or not I chose to accept the lies of our culture over the Truth of who I am.

And I think that hits the spot.

I had tangled my identity in my hair.

I saw my worth as less-than because my looks were less-than.

That, my friend, is where my flawed thinking started. But then I began to reconsider how I defined beauty. Because I thought, ‘Beauty must go deeper than presentation. Why couldn't I see myself that way too?’

So I sought Truth, and posed the question:

"Am I naturally beautiful, or is beauty simply something to attain?"

Here's the truth: beauty is a soul thing. It is a part of who I am; who we all are. It does not diminish as our appearance changes. And the Creator has made each of us incomparably beautiful, so there's no sense in measuring ourselves up to one another. Believing that can free us from trying to be something we already are.

This is authentic beauty. The innate kind that shines through each of our creative, brave, capable souls, encompassing the core of who we are.

It's true, "If only our eyes saw souls instead of bodies how very different our ideals of beauty would be." -Unknown

So I dare you, friend, to embrace the fact that you were born beautiful. Forget standards. It is most natural to believe you are created beautifully. Only because it's the truth.

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"You are

dawn-fresh

moon-lovely

sun-radiant"